Buckling my seat belt, I knew that I would once again be facing fears that could destroy the peace He gives. Irrational fears. If you have never had them then you may not understand.
Interstate travel and driving through mountains are just two of the circumstances in which Satan delights in drawing me toward fear. Terror is the only word that could describe the feelings that overwhelm at the worst points. Hands hold arm rest and door with grips of death, and tears often leak out of eyes that I am too afraid to close.
This trip was supposed to be for fun, but the dread in my heart prevented me from any joyful anticipation. I took a breath as my husband drove onto the interstate on-ramp. Then I closed my eyes and asked the Lord for a special measure of grace to help me get through the next couple of days.
Immediately, I received the answering gift. Very clearly I felt the conviction that can only come from the Spirit. I knew that He wanted me to give Him the fear. A slow breath out and I said, "Take it Lord. It is too much."
The still, small voice gave me the words that would carry me over the next 1400 miles.
"Anything less is not to trust."
The words were as clear as if my husband had spoken them to me. I think I may have responded with something akin to "Excuse me?" Then again.
"Anything less is not to trust."
I sat in awe at the Saviour taking the time to communicate with one of his weakest servants. But I gave it to Him. And then I began with, "But Lord, my husband drives so fast..." Then the response.
"You are given a job perfect for you each day. Today your job is to ride. You have no control over what the driver does. Accept your job. Anything less is not to trust."
I will not say that there were no moments of fear, but He gave me that grace for which I had asked. Each time my heart would begin to turn, I would be reminded, "Anything less is not to trust." Several times I think I said, "Yes, Lord. I know that already!" But He was there the whole way. I cannot communicate how thankful I am to Him for that.
If you have ever dealt with fears, you will know how wonderful was the gift I was given. We do not know what is coming at us as we continue down the road of life, but He offers peace if we will just give the fear to Him.
Fears of the unknown, fear of abandonment, fear of failure, fear of loss. All these can so corrupt our minds that we are unable to be used by Him who made us. The fears we feel victimized by are actually sin that we have not given to Him. Our job each day is to trust Him---with our families, our lives, our health, our jobs and yes, our fears. If we enter that job without peace than we are not trusting.
Anything less is not too trust.
"And we have known and believed the love that God hath to us. God is love; and he that dwelleth in love dwelleth in God, and God in him. Herein is our love made perfect, that we may have boldness in the day of judgment; because as He is, so are we in this world.
There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love.
We love him, because He first loved us." I John 4:16-19
I do not know why those were the words He chose to give me, but I know that I will never forget them or the precious gift of His presence and His peace. He will give us the peace we ask for, but not until we let go of the fears that stand in the way of our receiving.