Owl's Head Lighthouse, Owl's Head, ME

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My life revolves around four complicated and special children, a husband who is as much of a people person as I am not, and way too many pets.  Chronic illness, homeschooling, home management and just trying to figure out how to love each other well, keeps me occupied hour by hour.  I am burdened to share the truth of God's Word and show examples of His grace in my own daily life. 

Friday, August 20, 2010

When God Rewrites Our Schedule

Life changes so fast, but that reality is what keeps me aware of making each moment count. Thank-you, Lord for change, even when the adjustment is hard. We make our plans and then the Lord rearranges them to be what we need to make us more like Him.

I had planned my summer, even blogged about it, but it has turned into something that is totally different. It started with my husband being injured and needing surgery. Wasn't much we could do about that! Days spent in doctor's offices became the family outings. We were blessed to have friends willing to take care of our children during the surgery so that I could be with him.

In spite of weeks of needed recovery we were able to head to Maine for our scheduled family vacation. The chance to spend precious time with so many family and friends while there was another of God's gifts to us. The fact that one of those friends was lost to us while we were there was a terrible tragedy, but also a special gift as we were able to spend time mourning together with those that also mourned.

As time passed, my husband realized that he was going to be unable to completely return to his work which required constant travel, heavy lifting and alot of talking. He was up to all but the lifting. With frustration we slowly came to the realization that the only way he would be able to return to work was for us to leave our children and for me to travel with him as his "heavy lifter". That was a test that we did not feel up to taking. Our oldest and youngest would be celebrating birthdays, and for the first time we would not be there to share it.

The emotions became overwhelming as I contemplated the loss of a long-time friend, the loss of our family unit for a time, the loss of my husband's independence and the loss of my well-laid plans.

But as I sorted through the baggage in my mind, I was reminded of what the Lord had been teaching me over the last several weeks. The fact that each day He plans a perfect "job" for me to do. Sometimes it might be to be a blessing to someone else, but more often it is to make me into a woman that He can use and bless. My job is to submit---not an easy task. But when I do, I can feel His presence and blessing. He again gives the grace to accept each "job"---no, I don't always do that with the grace that I should, but Lord willing, each day I will reflect His grace a little more.

He does not ask too much from me, but I demand much from Him. I am so thankful that He delights in showering us with good things. Just as I want my children to experience the fullest out of life, my heavenly Father desires that for me. I can rebel or I can submit. Each day, each hour and moment brings chances for me to practice. Sometimes there are triumphs, and many times there are repeated failures. He continues to love and shape me.

I am so thankful for this time with my husband. A time to reconnect and work together as a team. Our children are making memories with family that we love. The Lord cares for them---for they are His children too. Yes, my plans changed, but how wonderful to know that the Lord cared enough to look at my puny little schedule and use His all-knowing finger to write in just the right changes to make my life more complete in Him.

"Teach me to do thy will; for thou art my God: thy spirit is good; lead me into the land of uprightness." Psalm 143:10

"Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ;" II Cor. 10:5

"The Spirit itself beareth witness with our spirit, that we are the children of God: And if children, then heirs; heirs of God, and joint-heirs with Christ; if so be that we suffer with him, that we may be also glorified together. For I reckon that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us." Rom. 8:16-18

2 comments:

  1. The circumstances are different but I am in the middle of trying to find someone who can watch the kids for me so that I can go to the annual Fellowship of Missions Conf. with Matthew....I hate leaving the kids and feel quilty about it the whole time BUT Matthew is overjoyed that I am willing to go with him and it means so much - I am sure Kelly feels the same way. Enjoy the miles together, Tammy Lynn=)

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  2. I was reading through comments and things on my blog...I came to your name and decided to stop by to say hi. :) I am sorry you and your family have been going through a difficult time. It amazes me how God can take the rough places in our lives and use them to teach us but also make them smooth paths as we trust in him. Blessings, Tammy

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