Owl's Head Lighthouse, Owl's Head, ME

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My life revolves around four complicated and special children, a husband who is as much of a people person as I am not, and way too many pets.  Chronic illness, homeschooling, home management and just trying to figure out how to love each other well, keeps me occupied hour by hour.  I am burdened to share the truth of God's Word and show examples of His grace in my own daily life. 

Monday, September 13, 2010

A Notebook of Plans and Fear In the Follow Through

The weeks of travelling with my husband for work and being separated from our children has come to an end. The silence we so recently were experiencing has quickly been replaced by the sounds, and just plain noise, made by four children excited to be back in their regular environment. Today, just today, they are enjoying the "new" of being back in the "old". Tomorrow, I know, will be back to life---the one that so often leaves me feeling old and tired. Bickering, whining and general disharmony are too often the music of the days. But, today, I bask in the spirit of happiness.

Over the last several weeks we have had opportunities to analyze our life with a little more objectivity than we are usually afforded. In the midst of the grind of day to day it often becomes difficult to separate our emotions from the job of parenting. I understand that our emotions are necessary for the role of a parent, but so often we allow our own emotions to cloud our judgment. The result is confused and often whining, bickering children. Consistent discipline becomes more than we can fathom. Enforcement is lacking.

So in this parentheses of our life, my Love and I talked and attempted to refocus for the year ahead. Lord willing, we will prepare ourselves to use the energy that is low to show consistent, loving discipline, taking the time to train our children in art of good habits, and consistently modeling a life that is sold out for the Lord. These are the goals, and we have attempted to lay the groundwork by actually writing down ideas to implement.

Planning is great and something that I need to work on, but all the plans in the world will not help if the follow-through is not there. And guess what? More often then not, I am the one in charge of the follow-through. While my husband is the leader of the family, I am the one here every day. The reality of life with four children often interferes with the best-laid plans, and I end up worn-out, discouraged and far from the kind of role-model I want around my children!

So, here I am with a notebook full of ideas, curriculum in place and a great big ball of fear in my stomach thinking about all the ways that I may fail to follow through. Without a doubt it will mean taking my notebook before the Throne and asking for Divine strength, wisdom and courage to embark on another year of training my children in truth. Years of experience in my own failures leaves me humble but confident that "He which began a good work will be faithful to complete it."

Sleep tonight. Coffee and an open Bible in the the morning, and I know He will give me the strength. We will trust Him for the future of our children and spend each day asking for all that we lack. No doubt there will be many days where bickering and whining are the predominant characteristics.....hey, we aren't in Heaven yet....but I am praying for the strength to stand strong against those little whining monsters (just kidding....sort of) and train them with love and patience.

One of my favorite quotes is "God does not ask for my perfection, only my dedication." Sooo thankful for that! The Lord will bless our humble service to Him in the realm of our homes. May He use me to boost the tone of our home to one of thankfulness and love.

3 comments:

  1. As the grandmother to these 4 wonderful children and having had the privileged to be with them for the last several weeks I can relate. I wanted it to be a time of building memories and not just wanting the time to be over. It was difficult at times because my life had settled into a sort of routine that was turned upside down. I do better if I have sort of a schedule,but even though life was in chaos at times, they were very special times for me.
    Seeing the potential in each one was a privilege for both Grampy and I. We wanted our time to be a time of teaching but most of all,letting them know how much they are loved.

    Thank you for entrusting them into our care.
    Nanny and Grampy

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  2. I have learned that fear is from the enemy, and that it can sap the energy out of us if we let it stay there. We are already more than conquerors in Christ. I love your transparency. Your heart seeks to honor Christ in raising your children, and that's all that matters.

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  3. I've just returned from a quick trip with Matthew where we attended several conference type sessions meant to be an encouragement....well, they were really nothing of the sort to me. ONly an occasion to add more things to the list of things I don't do right and areas in which I fall short....I know how you feel on some of those days surrounded by the noise of discontentment. I'll pray for you if you'll pray for me=) Love you, cousin!

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